Perez Hilton: You Gotta Be Fucking Kidding Me, Right?

Perez Hilton continues to make me weep for humankind. From the last day or so’s posts, first we have this piece on Jennifer Garner’s rumoured pregnancy. Here’s the, ahem, compelling evidence:

As if that helpful bright red circle wasn’t enough to make you see – you know, her totally massive stomach – Perez adds this corker

The pregnancy speculation is gonna go into overdrive now!

Jennifer Garner (with hubby Ben Affleck and daughter Violet) was spotted wearing a very big, flowy top at a park in Brentwood this past weekend.

Is that a bump?????

For real? “Very big flowy top”? Is that a bump? Well I don’t know, Perez, you tell me – it looks like a normal woman’s stomach! Oh but, right, if women don’t look like Megan Fox (seemingly the only female immune to Perez’s “wit”), then they must be fat.

And then, he ups his feminist credentials with a piece on Sienna Miller – here’s the charming title in full:

Slut! Slut! Slut

Yup, you read correctly. Here’s his justification for the outburst:

Sienna Miller has no shame!

The actress makes out with her married new boyfriend while on holiday together in Italy.

Because, you know, it’s all Sienna Miller’s fault. Poor, defenseless Balthazar Getty is clearly mentally impaired and incapable of stopping the big bad lady from breaking up his marriage.

Did Perez have his first orgasm while reading The Scarlet Letter or something? With each day my loathing of this sexist, misogynist, homophobic knobwrench grows exponentially.

Partner Rape And The Police

Distrubing research has been published today about partner rape which reveals that many police consider partner rape to be a grey area, and that 1 in 5 police interviewed suggested that sexual offenses perpetrated by intimate partners should not be reported.

The research, titled “Raped by a partner: Nowhere to go, No-one to tell” is the publication of two years of solid research by by Women’s Health Goulburn North East and Upper Murray Centre Against Sexual Assault about partner rape including interviews with 21 women from the Goulburn Valley and north east Victoria; and interviews and focus groups with 30 police officers and 23 sector workers. I couldn’t help thinking of the notorious South Australian rape trial in 1992 where Justice Bollen said:

There is, of course, nothing wrong with a husband, faced with his wife’s
initial refusal to engage in intercourse, in attempting, in an acceptable
way, to persuade her to change her mind, and that may involve a measure
of rougher than usual handling. It may be that handling and
persuasion will persuade the wife to agree. Sometimes it is a fine line
between not agreeing, then changing of the mind, and consenting …
(R v Johns, Supreme Court, SA No. SCCRM/91/452, 26 August 1992.)

It is disturbing that we live in time when rape in marriage was legal less than a generation ago, a media campaign about sexual assault and violence against women takes 3 years to come to fruition only to be released in a watered down form, and rape is still used as a subject of amusement, satirical or otherwise. Why is rape a grey area? When I worked on a volunteer counselling line, I was asked quite a few times

“My boyfriend had sex with me when I was asleep… Is this rape?”

The Dawn Chorus would like to remind it’s readers that non-consensual sex is always a crime. Regardless of whether the offender is in an intimate relationship with the victim.

Let the onslaught of media talk-back/tabloid pundits spew forth their ill formed opinions and rhetoric about the fabrication of rape charges, but we all know that rape occurs daily, the victim most commonly knows their perpetrator, few rapes are reported, and ever fewer lead to prosecution.

People who can help:

1. Centre Against Sexual Assault 1800 806 292
2. Women’s Domestic Violence Crisis Line 1800 015 188
3. Victoria Police 000 or your local Victoria Police Sexual Offences and Child Abuse Units

It’s Not Like WE’RE The Ones Saying Jessica Simpson Is A Pornstar

“Jessica Simpson dress makes her a pornstar at Lake Tahoe” say our old friends at Sydney Confidential.

Poor old Jess. Would you just look at her in the “pornstar” getup:

Jeez, can’t a girl leave the house anymore and show a bit of thigh without accusations of perversion? Jess, you have gorgeous legs and if mine were as perfectly toned and honey-caramel coloured as yours, I’d be getting about in much less then what you are wearing.

I actually think I have a very similar black version of this dress in my own wardrobe. Which means that clearly I have not realised my true calling in life and should enrol at my local tertiary institute immediately for my diploma in Sexing for the Camera.

But please note the deflection in the opening paragraph of this extraordinary piece of insult.

COUNTRY music singer and actress Jessica Simpson has come under fire for wearing a dress, which the UK press claims has made her look like a “pornstar”.

Kim Kardashian’s Unforgiving Frock

I’ve noticed that News.com.au continue to dish out the hard-hitting news and today they’ve got a feature on a new fashion-craze, “The Bandaid Dress”. You can peruse the gallery of celebs in skin-tight dresses, these frocks are fashion designer Herve Leger’s creation and are said to act like a pair of fancy Nancy Ganz.

Here is Paris Hilton’s Pal, Kim Kardashian in one of Leger’s frocks:

Amongst the mundane captions, I noticed Kardashian was given a slap in the face with the tagline: “the curvy reality star is a big fan of the bandage dress which is incredibly unforgiving on her voluptuous figure“.

I translated this into Perez Hilton speak as “sure you love those dresses Kim, but it really shows us that you’re quite the fatty”. I hate passive-aggressive taglines like this, Kim happens to have a beautiful figure from the looks of it. I can tell you right now that it takes every ounce of guts to wear a dress like this and I think she looks smoking-hot. But it really is a scandal, she has curves! She is wearing a daring colour to contrast with her beautiful complexion! More scandalous is that… She has BREASTS, A BUM AND ISN’T A SIZE ZERO! Cue the outrage.

Muchas gracias News.com.au, for reminding us that a woman with curves should not bring shame upon her self in a tight frock and thus, should stick to the potato sack.