Perez Hilton: You Gotta Be Fucking Kidding Me, Right?

Perez Hilton continues to make me weep for humankind. From the last day or so’s posts, first we have this piece on Jennifer Garner’s rumoured pregnancy. Here’s the, ahem, compelling evidence:

As if that helpful bright red circle wasn’t enough to make you see – you know, her totally massive stomach – Perez adds this corker

The pregnancy speculation is gonna go into overdrive now!

Jennifer Garner (with hubby Ben Affleck and daughter Violet) was spotted wearing a very big, flowy top at a park in Brentwood this past weekend.

Is that a bump?????

For real? “Very big flowy top”? Is that a bump? Well I don’t know, Perez, you tell me – it looks like a normal woman’s stomach! Oh but, right, if women don’t look like Megan Fox (seemingly the only female immune to Perez’s “wit”), then they must be fat.

And then, he ups his feminist credentials with a piece on Sienna Miller – here’s the charming title in full:

Slut! Slut! Slut

Yup, you read correctly. Here’s his justification for the outburst:

Sienna Miller has no shame!

The actress makes out with her married new boyfriend while on holiday together in Italy.

Because, you know, it’s all Sienna Miller’s fault. Poor, defenseless Balthazar Getty is clearly mentally impaired and incapable of stopping the big bad lady from breaking up his marriage.

Did Perez have his first orgasm while reading The Scarlet Letter or something? With each day my loathing of this sexist, misogynist, homophobic knobwrench grows exponentially.