The Dawn Chorus

Fresh Australian Feminism

Attention Women: Casual Sex Will Leave You “Worthless”

Posted by Clem Bastow on July 4, 2008

From time to time the post-fem conservatives try to whip up a scare campaign designed to make women think twice about living their lives like, if you will, Samantha Jones from Sex & The City (and even Sam ended up needing a full-time, monogamous partner). The latest to indulge in this sorry line of “journalism” is – no surprises! – Britain’s Daily Mail.

The piece, by Helen Weathers and subtly titled “Casual sex left me feeling worthless: How a one-night stand left one woman emotionally destroyed”, fires so many salvos it’s hard to know which ones to highlight! Let’s start with this one:

Only when Aisling woke up, she didn’t feel liberated. As her conquest departed with barely a backward glance, she felt used and cheated, even though she’d been under no illusion that it might lead to anything more.

That’s right, girls, sexual freedom and emancipation from traditional and hurtful gender roles is bad news! You are all just prostitutes in the eyes of these careless studs! But that’s the least of it:

Men can separate their feelings and just have sex, whereas women connect on a much deeper level.

The sexist gender stereotypes that just won’t quit! Chicks! They just want to talk after sex! Please, ma’am, may I have some more? Brace yourself, the corker is coming up…

When last night’s ‘Brad Pitt’ looks more like Mr Bean, a woman’s self-respect plummets. As for actually marrying the ‘Brad Pitts’ of this world, a promiscuous woman jeopardises her chances of attracting a high-status long-term partner by giving away her assets too cheaply.

That’s right, you’re just tarnishing yourselves, girls – after all, a woman’s body is a precious jewel that should be treasured and revealed in a velvet box on your wedding night, or something. But hold on, I think Ms Weathers wants to leave us with a salient final line:

Women may indeed be biologically programmed to go in search of their very own ‘Brad Pitt’ – and may even make a quick conquest.

They just shouldn’t be surprised when he doesn’t call the next day.

Yep, suck it up, sluts – you’re doomed to waiting by the phone and wondering where it all went wrong. If only you’d waited until the third date!

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7 Responses to “Attention Women: Casual Sex Will Leave You “Worthless””

  1. Jessica said

    To be honest, i do feel cheated in a way by all the sex-positive so called feminists who said to fuck like a man would be liberating. It isn’t. (How could it be?) It’s just sex. To glorify sex and one night stands is also a bullshit lie. The sooner people start being honest about sex and about how crap it can be and how you wont always be high fiving your girl friends the next day the better. Just because we want something to be a certain way doesnt make it so.

    The truth of the matter is, as much as it would be nice if it wasnt, a lot of guys do want “a nice girl”. It’s unrealistic to expect all men to be feminists or have feminist leanings because they arent all like this. In fact, very few are. And once you leave the cosy bubble you soon realise this. (This was shocking to me.) So the choice is if you’re someone who likes casual sex is to keep doing what you’re doing and lie about the numbers, or stay true to yourself, endure the flack, and hope to find someone who isnt judgmental about women having casual sex.

  2. audrey said

    Clem, every time I read one of these articles I die a little inside. And while I’m wholly unsurprised it was published in the Daily Mail, it’s the kind of tripe that leads to book deals (like Lori Gottlieb, whose article on settling for Mr Good Enough in :the Atlantic will now be translated into a self help book for our pleasure) and ‘phenomenons’ (like how women now can only be represented by one of two stereotypes – Bridget Jones or SATC).

    I notice you do a bit of Samantha Brett Watch here. Did you read the pile of steaming shit blog she wrote about when women become damaged goods?

    And Jessica, it may be true that a lot of guys do want ‘a nice girl’ but ultimately (and even if it makes it harder to find someone who’s not a dick) it would be impossible to be with someone who felt that a woman’s value was tied up in how often her vagina had been used.

  3. Clem Bastow said

    Oh god, no I didn’t – did it feature sage advice like “don’t sleep together on the first date”, though?

  4. audrey said

    You can read it here.

    I think you’ll find the attached photograph most pleasing.

    But essentially it’s all about how a woman who hasn’t swaddled herself in cotton wool before attempting to date anyone could have inadvertently become ‘damaged goods’ through having had too much sex/kids/a relationship (!) etc.

    Stellar stuff.

  5. Clem Bastow said

    Lord in heaven. The worst thing about those sorts of blogs, when she does them, is that she writes them under the guise of “isn’t it terrible that people are saying these things” and then ends up, more or less, agreeing with whatever’s being said (bisexuality doesn’t exist, damaged goods, etc etc).

  6. Actually, the worst WORST thing about her blogs is not just all that you’ve mentioned, but that she legitimises them to the people stupid enough to buy into them by quoting other misinformed, turgid articles.

    Case in point: The Bridget Jones Clones

    Gareth Sibson’s original article is completely off the wall and offensive, but instead of disseminating the tired double standards and stereotypes in it, Brett quotes him as a so called expert into this new phenomenon of women sabotaging their relationships by trying to be just like Jones.

    URGH!

    Samantha Brett is evil and must be stopped.

  7. Clem Bastow said

    It gets worse – apparently she’s currently filming some ten-part “world’s sexiest” feature for E! channel. Truly, there is no god.

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