The Dawn Chorus

Fresh Australian Feminism

Memo To Sophie Monk: This Is Why You Can’t Keep A Man

Posted by Clem Bastow on July 14, 2008

Most of the time while looking for pieces to shine the Dawn Chorus spotlight on, there are usually a few choice sentences, sometimes a paragraph, to discuss. However, in the case of this “article” from the Daily Telegraph, I could pretty much re-print the entire thing, from headline to full stop, such is the shiver inducing sexism of the piece. Let’s start with the title:

Paris Hilton gets not tattoos for Benji Madden unlike Sophie Monk

Playing two women off against each other in the death sport of catching a husband, top work, Tele! What have you got for us next – how about a precede?

SHE’S not the smartest tool in the shed but Paris Hilton seems to have pinned down her man, rocker Benji Madden, by staying away from the tattooist needle.

Right, so while Sophie can’t catch a man, at least dummy Paris can! What next in this cavalcade of 1950s rhetoric?

While Madden’s Aussie ex Sophie Monk emerged this week flashing new ink in the form of her own name on the back of her head, Hilton revealed her Good Charlotte beau has kyboshed her putting pen to skin.

Benji won’t let me get one. He doesn’t like tattoos on women. He thinks I look pure,” Hilton cooed recently.

Gee, and she looked so, like, angelic in that sex tape, Benji.

Sophie, that must have been where you went wrong.

In order, we have everyone clapping their hands over Paris playing soon-to-be-wifey to Madden, who likes to tell his girlfriend what to do – and she loves it!

Then we have a shake of good, old-fashioned slut shaming.

And finally, we round it all out by chastising Sophie Monk for ‘failing’ to keep a man. Because lord knows, when a relationship ends – particularly if a woman does the leaving – it’s a ‘failure’, not a mutual decision reached to further the individual happiness of both partners.

Gotcha, thanks Daily Telegraph!

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3 Responses to “Memo To Sophie Monk: This Is Why You Can’t Keep A Man”

  1. audrey said

    The Madden brothers continue to make my soul vomit. Everything they allow themselves to be (fat, disgusting, inked, talentless) they deny in the dolly birds they want hanging off their arms.

    I’m sadly unsurprised this was printed in a newspaper though. Substitute Benji for any other man in existence and Sophie for Jessica Simpson and you have the cover of every tabloid magazine from the last two years.

  2. hannahcolman said

    Note to Tele journo: I think you’ll find the saying is “Not the sharpest tool in the shed.”

  3. LizBee said

    The glossy celeb mags (…*eyedart*) were taking a similar stance, sounding not unlike my mother when she told me I’d never be hired again with that, um, single tattoo.

    Apparently, girls aren’t supposed to get inked anymore. (Pretty naval rings are still okay.)

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